OK, let’s get this straight: You’ve been running for a while but seem hesitant to give yourself the title of runner, right? Something about it makes you question if, in fact, you are one. Yes, you know that “real runners” tell you that you are a runner the moment you decide you are one, sign up for a race or just start running regularly. But still you wonder if there’s some sort of list or criteria just to double-check your status as a runner.
Here is a list for you of 14 things that scream, “I am a runner.” If you identify with any of them, you are probably already a runner …
1. You say good morning to everyone you pass on your run or give them a slight wave if you are out of breath. Yup, runners are friendly folks and you’re keen to acknowledge one of your own.
2. Waving to a runner while doing a speed workout feels like a waste of precious energy, so you give them a nod hello instead. No, I cannot run fast and wave at the same time. It’s not physically possible.
3. You stop buying fabric softener because you don’t want to accidentally use it on your running gear. Don’t want to mess with those moisture-wicking properties now, do you?
4. When you hear the word “marathon,” you think of the 26.2-mile kind versus the Game of Thrones kind. Certainly, 26.2 miles is the better of the two. In one you feel like you are dying. In the other, you watch everyone die.
5. When traffic is moving slowly you think to yourself, “I could run faster than this.” But then you think, “really, I can run faster than this.”
6. You get frustrated when you see someone out running on a day you haven’t run. When did it become harder not to go for a run than to go for a run?
7. The debate of whether leggings are pants is not a debate to you. Leggings ARE pants. If you can wear them running and out to a bar, they are more than pants—they are your favorite.
8. When asked the mileage of your car at Jiffy Lube, you accidentally tell them the mileage on your running shoes. Oh, hey, sorry, I didn’t catch on to what that side-eye was all about. My car has around 50K miles on it and my current pair of running shoes, well, they have 243 to be exact.
9. You feel really good about yourself when you have all 10 toenails. You do the Carlton dance before putting on sandals.
10. Talking about bathroom issues no longer embarrasses you. I mean sh*t happens to everyone, right? Especially before and during a run!
11. You have a doctoral degree from Google. If it’s during the taper, don’t listen to your body—you are losing your mind. If it’s any other time, listen to Google because it always knows what ails you.
12. “I’m sorry, I have to run tomorrow” is your go-to excuse for just about any social event you don’t want to attend. It’s not an excuse if it’s the truth, right?
13. When people mention Boston, Chicago, New York, Paris, London, etc. you immediately think they are referring to marathons. People go on vacations to places other than the beach for reasons other than running?
14. You don’t understand why people own watches that don’t have GPS. Time? Who needs to know what the time is? We have phones for that.